If you know me personally, you know that recently my husband and I have been separated. (That caught your attention, didn't it?)
Yes, we have been separated for almost a year now.
This would be one of the many "perks" of being a military wife. The military tells your husband what to do and he says "Yes sir" and off he goes. Sometimes they say "take your wife and family with you" and sometimes they don't. These last 9 months has been one of those times they have said the dreaded word: unaccompanied.
Do I pity myself? Sometimes. Do I cry and say it's not fair? Most definitely. Am I growing? ABSOLUTELY!
You never know what you can do until you are asked to do it. That seems trite and maybe a little cliché, but it's so true! I never thought I could have two little kids at home by myself all the time. I never thought I could pack up the car and go "visit" my husband while he is away. I never thought I would have to do things like check the oil in the car or check the air pressure on the tires. But I found out that I can do those things.
I recently had to apologize to my husband for calling myself "a single parent". Do my girls only have one parent at home right now? Yes. Do they miss their Daddy terribly? Yes. Do I sometimes have to be mom and dad at the same time (aka good cop, bad cop)? Yes. Am I truly a single parent? NO! I have help with all the big decisions...even though there are a couple times I've had to make executive decisions and our family has to live with the outcome. (And those times have made me appreciate my husband so much more! He makes those decisions all the time and the rest of us have to live with what happens after! How's that for the weight of the world on your shoulders?)
The point of this blog post is to remind myself to never take my husband for granted. I go to church and watch all these cute, young, sappy couples with their little families and I think "why them?" or "Why is it fair for them to be together and our family has to be separated?"
I choose to praise the Lord for the good things that come from having a husband that's gone. (Are there any you might ask?) I'm thankful that my husband has a good job. He signed a contract that lets us know what we will be doing for the next X number of years! He gets a paycheck every two weeks that not only is his pay, but also help with housing and "subsistence" and now that he is away it also includes an "I'm sorry we took your husband" allotment. I hear of prayer requests all the time for husbands and fathers that need jobs. Thank you, Jesus, that right now my husband has one!
I'm thankful for the ways God pushes me to be a better parent when my husband is away. I am learning to constantly check myself and my attitude when it comes to dealing with my girls. It gets frustrating to have a daughter in the throws of the "terrific twos" and another one waking me up in the wee hours of the morning to eat. Yep, there are some days where we just survive. Not every day is a survival day because I don't want it to be like that, some days we do thrive! Some days I get in bed at night and say "well, the girls ate today" and I try to remember if I ate too.
I'm thankful for the precious little girls God has given us! My little girls look so much like their Daddy that I can't help but think about him all the time. There's no way I can forget what he looks like while peering into their little faces. He is such a good Daddy that he sometimes has to go away for his job. He doesn't like it, I don't like it, they don't like it...but the safest place he can be is right where God wants him, even though he's away.
I'm thankful that even though we are separated, this is not a deployment. The opportunity to see my husband is still there. It might take a lot of work and long hours of travel but I can still see him. Skype isn't our only means of communication right now.
When it comes right down to it, being the only parent in a household is not the most fun thing I've ever done but it does help me grow, and for that, I am thankful.
